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Anonymous — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 01:01:05 CST

what l spent,i had
what i kept, i lost
what i gave, i have

Dear World

Dooh — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 07:55:46 CST

Dear World,
I am a Christian trying to live in you;but it is very difficult. Everyday, everywhere I look, is filled with your dirt, your corrupt ways. The media bombards me with explicit images, disgusting information, LIES!! How am I supposed to cope with that? As a Christian I'm supposed to avoid such evil ways. But how can I when it surrounds me everyday? Why do you do this to me?I am but a youth and for some reason I find myself drawn to your horrifying customs. I find interest in your sinful nature, like a young child drawn to sweets. Whenever I try to turn away you seem to pull me back. There is something about you that draws my flesh to you; that makes me feel as though I need you to define me.

Dear World,
I am always told that when I grow up I am going to face the 'real' you, but I already face you everyday. Every time I switch on the television and watch a movie with drugs, alcohol and sex; every time I switch on the radio and listen to songs about violence; every time I open a magazine and find interest in the gossip about celebrities' lives being torn apart; everywhere I look you are there, you are constantly pulling me away from reading my bible; the time spent listening to the radio is time spent away from praying. Why do you make it so hard for me to do the right thing; to obey God's commands?

Dear World,
How DARE you put me down because I am a Christian? How DARE you tell me that to be for God is boring and for losers! How DARE you reject me, tear me down, make me feel worthless because of my faith! You make my life so difficult and yet I am still able to persevere. I am able to smile and laugh and enjoy myself, because of the joy I have found in my Lord. Every time you try to break me, you just end up making me stronger. You can continue to bring me down, to tell me that because I am not 'cool' or don't fit in, but remember this, the life I spend in you is only temporary and I can find joy in the fact that once I leave you, I will spend ETERNITY with my God, my Everlasting Father. I will walk in a city filled with love and joy and peace and I will finally belong. And even though that may seem like it is a long time from now, it is still worth the wait.

Yours truly,
Aggie.

The power of prayer

Dooh — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 07:31:53 CST

Have you ever felt the urge to pray for someone and then
just put it on a list and said, "I'll pray for them later?"

Or has anyone ever called you and said, "I need you to
pray for me, I have this need?"

Read the following story and may it
change the way that you may think about prayer and also the way you
pray.

You will be blessed by this.

A missionary on furlough told this true story while
visiting his home church in Michigan .

"While serving at a small field hospital in Africa ,
every two weeks I travelled by bicycle through the jungle to a nearby
city for supplies. This was a journey of two days and required camping
overnight at the halfway point.

On one of these journeys, I arrived in the city where I
planned to collect money from a bank, purchase medicine, and supplies,
and then begin my two-day journey back to the field hospital.

Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting,
one of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for his injuries
and at the same time talked to him about the Lord.

I then travelled two days, camping overnight, and arrived
home without incident.

Two weeks later I repeated my journey.

Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young
man I had treated. He told me that he had known I carried money and
medicines. He said, 'Some friends and I followed you into the jungle,
knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your
money and drugs.

But just as we were about to move into your camp, we saw
that you were surrounded by 26-armed guards.

At this, I laughed and said that I was certainly all
alone in that jungle campsite.

The young man pressed the point, however, and said, 'No,
sir, I was not the only person to see the guards, my friends also saw
them, and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that we
were afraid and left you alone.'

At this point in the sermon, one of the men in the
congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked
if he could tell him the exact day this happened.

The missionary told the congregation the date, and the
man who interrupted told him this story:
"On the night of your incident in Africa , it was
morning here and I was preparing to go play golf. I was about to putt
when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord
was so strong, I called men in this church to meet with me here in the
sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those men who met with me on
that day stand up?"

The men who had met together to pray that day stood up.
The missionary wasn't concerned with who they were, he was too busy
counting how many men he saw.

There were 26.

This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of
the Lord moves in mysterious ways. If you ever hear such prodding, go
along with it.

Nothing is ever hurt by prayer except the gates of hell.

If we all take it to heart, we can turn this world
toward God once again. As the above true story clearly illustrates,
"with God all things are possible".

More importantly, how God hears and answers the prayers
of the faithful.

Give God thanks for the beautiful gift of your faith, for the powerful gift of prayer, and for the many miracles He works in your own daily life... Who says God does not work in mysterious ways

I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is
always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him our cares
you know He will see us through.

So when the road you're travelling on seems difficult at
best, Just remember I'm here praying, and God will do the rest.

Agnes Joan B.

beautiful

complit — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:13:11 CST

there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who fears the lord
you are beautiful
fit for the king
daughter of zion
queen of my heart
i wonder how you slipped
from the eagle wings of the king
every man wants you
what did i do to deserve you?
when you are sad; you are beautiful
when you are sick; you are beautiful
when the sun shines; you are beautiful
when it burns; you are still beautiful
falling in love
is involuntary
would take any man two lifetimes to deserve you
they'd kill to have you
they'd sing to please you
anything 4 for you
for your love they'd gladly do
because
your beauty is so appealing
your character so consuming
your love for Christ so contageous
you are beautiful

c.v

complit — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 02:07:13 CDT

my story
i was challenged on sunday 8th july 2007to write about me
well its kinda hard to write about myself
bearing in mind that the bad and ugly will stick in your minds more than the good
well may be...
but i believe that it will transform somebody's life
my struggles
my successes
the lessons i've learn
may talk better that anything else
here it is
truth,unedited,unreharsed

a first born in a family of two boys
i grew up being the one that should be the good example
needless to say i'd get purnished more
so that my younger brother boniface could grow up a good boy too
my dad was the absent ones
sorry to say but i don't think we ever had a real conversation
he was the working,drinking, absent one.
my mom on the other hand is my dad/mom
the loving,hardworking,friend.
i tried smoking when i was in class five
once and mom caught me and canned me reasons why i shouldn't smoke
i was trying to be the man i always saw at home....dad
when i was 12 i went to church and accepted Jesus Christ
the main reason was that the guy who was preaching said i could have a dad, friend and lord in Jesus christ.
at last i'd get someone to help me catch a bird like other boys
someone to explain the changes in my physic
someone to comfort me during those scarely nights
someone to help out mom
coz by this time my dad had already left home
i'd see him on christmas as it is even today
so i had so many great expectations from this man JESUS CHRIST
i have seen God come through for me
i never missed a meal in my life
had school fees
had peace
but as many as the blessings there have been challenges
and the reason am still standing is because of God's grace
never ending grace
i have cried
struggled with forgiveness
struggled with fear
with self esteem
with stuff i couldn't hundle
and many times i'd feel like God has given up on me
like i grew big enough not to need Him as a father
but in everything i know that God had it in his plan
he knew everything and knows everything that happens to me
He is in control
He has taught me to trust Him
not to doubt
not to be weary of doing good
to give with not expectations
to love with no conditions
God is making me the kind of man that he wants me to be
Its true he is a real father
what i never learnt from my earthly father
He has taught me
and i believe He can be to every one
who the want Him to be
He is able and willing to transform not only my life
but all of our lives
He just needs us to give him a chance
i took my chances and gave him a chance
and now he is working in my life
i've seen people get healed through God working in me
i've seen people get saved through God working in me
i've seen people get delivered through God working in me
GIVE GOD A CHANCE IN YOUR LIFE
AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED.
just say this prayer
lord i need you
come into my life Jesus
and make me the kind of person you want me to be
i surrender to you
amen.

ght

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 03:19:48 CDT

There is no abstract available for this page revision.

l

Anonymous — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:56:21 CDT

There is no abstract available for this page revision.

congrats Soxxy

Anonymous — Sun, 20 May 2007 14:13:36 CDT

am impressed, to say the least.

May the Lord Graciously Grant u ALL ur hearts' Desires.

thanks.

ur my number one Dj.

Kariuki

artist of the moment...may

Anonymous — Sat, 19 May 2007 03:00:38 CDT

KJ 52 Biography (courtesy of BEC Recordings)


	Buy 'em here! Remixed Behind the Musik Soul Purpose It's Pronounced Five Two Peace of Mind

"This is my time capsule—the snapshots and the feelings, of a very memorable year," explains KJ-52. "I am both thrilled and awed by the things that have taken place recently, and I can't wait to share them with the world." A yearbook is a symbol of our best memories. It is a reminder of the moments we cherish, a commemoration of an era in our lives when we felt like kings. In similar fashion, this past year has been a special one for Kj-52. In the past twelve months he has surpassed 500,000 units for his career, won a Dove award, and been nominated for two more. This is his time, his moment. And no other year would be more fitting for The Yearbook. Five albums of material as a hip-hop artist is a feat in and of itself in an age that has been characterized by many as the dead era of this genre. Three of his four titles have scanned over 100,000—the only Christian hip-hop artist in history to do so. KJ-52 has become one of the most trusted names in music as a songwriter, producer, minister, and comic poet, in spite of many seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Let's not forget: He is an unabashed follower of Christ, he is white, and he is a rapper. Most have said these things cannot be combined at all, let alone form an equation for success. But KJ has grown more than accustomed to facing his nay-sayers head on. In fact, they fuel him: "I want people to tell me I can't do this. It's a big motivator. I love the challenge of proving critics wrong. I watched my own name mentioned on the 'Forty Least Hip-Hop Moments' on VH1' for writing a song to Eminem about who Christ was in my life. I actually love to hear things like that…I don't mind them talking about me because I am focused on a different goal than impressing those people. If I listened to critics it would distract me from reaching the kids who are in desperate need of help. My music, when you boil it down, is here for those in need." Few can dispute the work ethic and dedication that KJ has proven over the past seven years. Consider the fact that he self-produced The Yearbook, and produced seventy-five songs along the way. Yes, Seventy-five. Consider the fact that he has consistently played over 200 songs per year for over half of a decade. And consider the fact that without major exposure on the airwaves, television, or press (beyond the occasional mention on VH1 reruns) he has built a steady, consistent, loyal following of young people who have found a genuine connection to KJ beyond just catchy tunes. So enters The Yearbook, a diverse collection of only KJ's best instrumentation, beats, rhymes, and melodies to date. His debut as a self-producer shows impressive hints of staples such as The Neptunes, Timbaland, and DJ Premiere. His songs range from acoustic, programmed, beat-driven numbers to heavy guitar tracks with live drums. Think Rage Against the Machine, Linkin Park, mixed with classic 90's, golden age hip-hop. The result is an entire album—not just a couple singles—that will keep you interested from front to back. Aaron sprinkle (Kutless, Jeremy Camp) adds production on two tracks as well, and KJ even teams up with rock champions Disciple for a song. Guest appearances also include Toby Morrell of Emery, Ayiesha Woods, and Liquid. This is a virtuous merger of rival factions—hip-hop, rock, and R&B—and a triumph, to say the last, with catchy commercial songwriting and boatloads of singable choruses. But beyond the production achievement, and beyond the solid songs, lies meaning. Eternal meaning. "Hip-hop is all about putting up something that isn't real. For the most part, it's a style that is has very little transparency because so much of it is about putting up a front. It's like if you come from the streets and if you show weakness you are immediately called out. So the music is essentially a facade. But I don't even care…I have always wanted to take the listener places others can't, and after five albums I have a relationship with kids that allows me to do that. On this record I want people to really know me more, so I let down my guard more than I ever have. And in the process I want to broach some very important subjects that will, god willing, help people beyond just giving them a tune to sing along with." Kj has become known for his self-deprecating humor, embracing the inherent ironies of his musical existence, but he balances the comedic with the heavy in alternating doses of insight. On "It Ain't Easy," 52 laments with candor: Somedays it sure ain't easy waking up and being Tweezy. Used to dudes just booing…when I say I rap for a living, on top of that it's Christian they like…you must be tripping. On "Fanmail" he includes three verses written from real fans who were in desperate need of help, one of which was with cutting: My arms are sliced up but I'm not embarrassed. It's the only way I get attention now from my parents…I am writing cause I need some help from you. He speaks delicately to young females who are dealing with eating disorders and identity issues on "Daddy's Girl": You feel fat and ugly so you're getting thinner. Sometimes you throw up or you skip dinner. Sometimes you hate the face you see in the mirror. You cry at night but nobody ever seems to hears ya. But you got father in heaven though who wants to hold ya…wrap ya in his arms lay ya head on his shoulder. In his own, patented approach, KJ has proven once again he can navigate a variety of serious and and comedic subject with levity, grace, and a presentation of spiritual truth, always seeking to lend a helping hand to those in difficult situations. Though he jokes of rejection and boos from past live performances at open mics and clubs, KJ has rocked audiences around the globe with a live show that blends live instruments, a DJ, and high-energy antics which never fail to make all those in attendance, sing, yell, and dance. Recently he performed in Morocco—an unfamiliar environment for any non-Muslim—before a crowd of over 50,000 from many different cultural and ethnic backgrounds. He refers to this show as a one of the most pivotal in his career. Nearly speechless, he watched the countless hands wave and sing in various languages to his songs, proving that he had overcome yet another obstacle-the barrier of culture. And whether you catch him performing for thousands The Revolve Tour (a national event for teenage girls which focuses on empowering them to overcome identity battles), a foreign country, a packed club, or a festival, you can bet KJ will be hitting every corner of the planet in support of The Yearbook. Every KJ record has sold more than the previous one. He was voted favorite hip-hop artist in the last two CCM reader's poll. He has taken on VH1, Eminen, and foreign nations. Yet, he still remains resolute in his motivation. Perhaps this is why there is only one Five-Tweezy. You want further evidence? The Yearbook. April 10, 2007. "If you had told me I would be here seven years ago I would have probably laughed. Yet, all the things that have taken place recently are just en evidence of God. Who am I? I am just a kid who grew up in south Florida who loves hip-hop and wants to share my heart with anyone who will listen."

artist of the week 30th april - 6th may.

Anonymous — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 23:29:36 CDT

DJ SOXXY FROM KENYA
extract from www.mwafrika.com
He is popularly known as DJ Soxxy to the crowds and his listeners who tune in to his live mix show on Hope Fm; though his actual names are Jackson Kamau. Born in a family of five, Soxxy is the fourth born. He is the only boy and without flinching contends that he is spoilt.

He discovered he had a strong inclination to music at a tender age while still in primary school. After sitting his KCPE exams he carefully made his selection for high-school on the strengths of the music departments in the schools he intended to join for his secondary education. Initially he chose Starehe Boys centre but instead joined Dagoretti High school which had an equally respectable brass band.

Immediately he enrolled into the school band, of which he was a member until he graduated from high school. A skillful trombone player, Soxxy was awarded many certificates - among them one of merit for being the best trambone player. His love and creativity for music blossomed and on completion of his secondary education he ventured into the DJ-ing world.
DJ Soxxy had his life changing experience on his second day in high school on the 10 th feb 1996 . Today he admits that the Christian walk is not an easy one, neither is it for the faint hearted. Even though he has had mountain top and valley low experiences, he is steadfast in proclaiming the Lordship of Jesus Christ in his life.
It is said in Scripture that a man's gift opens doors in front of kings and rulers – Soxxy can testify to that. Unlike many of the practitioners of his trade, he has the opportunity perform before presidents.
Invited for a challenge weekend at a local school, DJ Soxxy had no idea that his audience would include then Head of State President Daniel arap Moi . He could hardly believe it, thinking it must be some crazy dream.
To add to the moment, the Head of State walks up to him at the end of the show and personally congratulates him on his impressive job on the wheels of steel. When he reminisces about the whole episode, all he says is that was especially humbling.
DJ Soxxy's very first show was at the St. Andrews church, at an event dubbed “ Bash of the clouds ”, his very first performance in front of an audience. He describes his first gig as both awesome and incredible. This set the stage for more invitations for him to spin and minister the love of the Lord Jesus.
His inspiration solely emanates from God and His Word, which acts as a great assurance to keep glorifying the lord's mighty name. He sincerely loves Jer 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
DJ Kev and DJ Josh were among the industry players he credits as instrumental in his growth as a gospel DJ. They availed him opportunities to do his thing at their shows. Nonetheless he reserves his highest plaudits for K-Krew 's very own DJ Moz for his role in shaping him artistically.
Since then he's had the opportunity to perform at many different gigs, and share a stage with many of the country's top acts. He's toured nakuru, Eldoret, kisumu, kericho and even Kampala in ministry outreach. He is now an affiliate of the K-Krew ministry.
One of the highlights of his career so far has been the 2005 Samaritan Award of the Year at the Groove Awards, held at the KICC in Nairobi.
He speaks of enduring negative response from the older generation concerning Christian DJ-ing; they perceive their ministry as a form of worldly entertainment that has been brought to the church. Yet Soxxy sees it as an effective and relevant ministry tool, especially where the youth are concerned. He aspires to gain international recognition based on his skills.
DJ Soxxy dreams of the day he will own a Radio station that will be a great influence to many, offering its listeners the best of Gospel Music, identifying & addressing realistic issues and cultivating spiritual awareness.
To Contact DJ Soxxy, or support his ministry, reach him at +254-722780563

kicheko aka humor

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 23:54:56 CDT

Top 12 Things Not To Say
To A Cop who has pulled you over:

To check out more of Pastor Tim's Top Ten Clean Laughs click here.

l. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2.Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4.Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.Good job!
5.Are you Andy or Barney?
6.I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7.You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
8.I pay your salary!
9.Gee, Officer! That's terrific.The last officer only gave me a warning too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over?Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic.Yes, I know there are no other cars around.That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?

AND YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD DAY!

author unknown

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel, slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above - I again lost my presence of mind.

I let go of the rope!
Contemplative Vicar A vicar was talking to one of his parishioners. He said "When you get to my age you spend a lot more time thinking about the hereafter." "What do you say that", enquires the parishioner. The vicar replies "Well, I often find myself going into a room and thinking what did I come in hear after." Missing Missionary and Sick Cannibal Did you hear about the cannibal who got sick after eating the missionary? He boiled him and he was a friar! Total Oneness What did the Zen Buddhist Monk say to the Hotdog Vender?...Make me One with everything. The Confused Samaritan A man was beaten up by robbers on a road to London. He lay there, half dead and in bad shape. A Vicar came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. Next, a monk came by but also walked quickly on the other side. Finally, a social worker came along, looked at the man and said "Whoever did this needs help!" Goliath's Grief! Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a stone? Because nothing like this had ever entered his mind before. Nietzche A poster read: "God is dead" - Nietzche. The graffiti underneath read: "Nietzche is dead" - God. A Dog‘s Life! Did you hear about the man who bought had a dog with no legs? He called it cigarette. He used to take it out for a drag. Poor Old Peanuts Did you hear about the two peanuts that went walking around the Bronx in the middle of the night? One of them was assaulted. The Brutal Truth! A man called up a bible believing church and the church secretary answered the call. The man on the other end of the line said, "I’d like to speak to the head hog." The secretary replied, "That wasn’t a very nice thing to say about our beloved minister, Rev. Jones." Again the man replied, "I’d like to speak to the head hog, because I’m going to donate £75,000.00 to the church. She replied, "Hold on a moment, I think the big fat pig just walked in." A Strange Combination! (Atheist Joke 1) What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?.... Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason. The Angry Atheist (Atheist Joke 2) The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!" The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!" "Well thank God for that" replies the preacher! Good King Wenceleslas (Warning: This one will make you groan!) Good King Wenceleslas went out to the pizza parlour and ordered a pizza. The assistant asked Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even? A Troublesome Fruit (Adam & Eve Joke 1) It wasn't the apple that caused the trouble in the Garden of Eden, it was the pair on the ground. Domestic Problems (Adam & Eve Joke 2) Adam was walking outside of the Garden of Eden with Cane and Abel when the boys were young. Cane and Abel looked into the garden and viewed waterfalls, lovely birds, lush forests and fruit trees bending over because of the large amounts of fruit on them. Then they took a long look at where they lived at. It was dry, dusty with weeds and sickly-looking trees. "Daddy? Why don't we live in there instead of out here?" they asked innocently. Adam said, "Well sons. Eve and I use to live in there at one time. But your mother ate us out of house and home." The Cost of Living (Adam & Eve Joke 3) God said to Adam, "I am going to make you a helper, a companion. What would you like your companion to be like?" Adam replied, "Well I want someone that is humorous, witty, intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving, trusting, polite, generous and beautiful." God paused a moment after Adam's wish list and told Adam that a companion like that 'would cost him an arm and a leg.' Adam seemed a little dejected and then brightly replied: "What can I get for a Rib?" Flattered Minister A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church doors for the last time. He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out. She said "Your successor won't be as good as you." "Nonsense", said the pastor, in a flattered tone. "No, really", said the old lady, "I've been here under five different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last." Disruptive School Kids What did the cross eyed school teacher say to his disruptive children? - "I can't control my pupils." Christians in Heaven Why are there no Christians in Heaven yet? Because they are all still at the gates, saying to each other: "After you", "No, I insist after you..." Nelson Mandela Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. "You sign! You sign!" Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Push off", and shuts the door in his face. The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off ! You've got the wrong bloke! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again. The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinaman thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?" The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: "You not Nissan Maindealer?"
Good Sermon! After a very long and boring sermon the parishoners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons."Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God!" The pastor was thrilled. "No-one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why." "Well - it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!"
My Dad's Better Than Your Dad (Number One)
Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was the greatest. One said, "My dad is the greatest because he is the president of the town bank." The second boy said, "That is pretty good, but my daddy owns two grocery stores in town!" The third boy said, "That's nothing, my dad is a preacher, and he owns hell. He came home last night and told my mom that the Church Board gave it to him!" My Dad's Better Than Your Dad (Number Two) When Jesus was a kid He was sitting around with some friends. One of the kids says "My dads a fireman and he's beter than yours!" ; another says "Well my dads a police man so he's beter than yours!" Jesus looks at this and says "Well my Dads God, and He created you, you, you, and you so there!" War Heroes As everyone was leaving the church, the Pastor noticed a young boy in the hallway, looking at a number of pictures on the wall. He said, "Well, hello, young man, how are you today?" The boy said, "Oh, fine." The pastor said, "I see you are looking at the pictures on the wall, do you know who the men in those pictures are?" The boy said "No, who are they?" The pastor said proudly "Well, son, those are pictures of the men in our congregation that gave their life in the service". The boy replied, " The 10 o'clock or the 11 o'clock service? Dangerous Dog One day a mailman was greeted by a boy and a huge dog. The mailman said to the boy, "does your dog bite?" "No," replied the boy. Just then the huge dog bit the mailman. The man yelled, "I thought your dog doesn't bite!" "He doesn't," replied the boy, "that's not my dog!" Important Man The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in." The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it. "It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" replies the chief. "No Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important." "Is it the Governor?" replied the chief. "No! Even more important!" replies the trooper. "Is it the PRESIDENT??? replied the chief. "No! Even more important!" replies the trooper. "Well WHO is it?" screams the chief. "I don't know Sir." replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur." Gifted Hamster A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it. The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?" The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, climbs down the bar, runs across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing a tune. And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle, or else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy." "Not so", says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist." Christian Science Healing A leader in a Christian Science church was talking to a member of his congregation: "And how is your husband today?" "I'm afraid he's very ill." "No, no," corrected the leader, "You really shouldn't say that - you should say that he's under the impression that he's very ill ." The woman nods in agreement, "Yes, I'll remember next time." A few weeks later the leader saw the woman again. "And how is your husband at the moment?" "Well", she replied, "he's under the impression that he's dead!" Angry Panda A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up in the dictionary!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves." New Bell Ringer Following the death of Quasimodo. the Bishop of the Cathedral Church of Notre Damesent word throughout the streets of Paris that a new bellringer would need to be appointed. The Bishop decided that he would himself conduct the interviews, and went up into the belfry to interview the candidates. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him announcing that he was there to apply for the post.. The Bishop, incredulous declared, " My Son, you have no arms!" " No matter" replied the man. He then proceeded to strike the bells with his face, producing the most beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop was astonished, believing he had indeed found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. But in rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry to his death in the street below. The Bishop, stunned rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beauty of the music they had heard, but a moment before. As they parted in silence to allow the Bishop through, one of the number asked " Bishop, who was this man?" ..wait for it... wait for it..... .." I don't know his name" replied the Bishop sadly, " But his face rings a bell." WAIT, WAIT! not through yet! The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart following the death of the armless camponologist, the Bishop continued his interviews for a bell ringer for Notre Dame. The first man to approach addressed him, "Your Grace, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this belfry yesterday. I pray that you will allow me to replace him." The Bishop agreed to an audition, but as the man reached to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, collapsed, and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the cries of grief from the Bishop at the tragedy, rushed up the stairs...... "What as happened? Who is this man?" they cried. " I don't know his name" exclaimed the distraught Bishop,......... wait for it....... wait for it wait for it ........." I don't know his name............but he's a dead ringer for his brother." Christmas Cheer As it was coming up to Christmas a young boy is praying upstairs while his mother sits by him and his dad and grandma are downstairs. He prays "Lord I pray for a train set, a remote control car, and A NEW BICYCLE!!! "You don't have to shout dear", says the mother "God's not deaf." "I know" said the little boy, "but grandma is."

The Bald Truth Have you heard about the new shampoo for men who are going bald, called "Whats's the Point?"

my life pics

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 23:37:31 CDT

4 steps to God

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 23:33:36 CDT

stepsone: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life
<john 3:16 for God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whoever belives in Him should not perish but have eternal life>
<john 10:10>
two:we all are sinner and so we are separated from God<romans 3:23>
three: Jesus Christ died for us,thruough him you can know and experience God's love and plan for His life<rev 3:20>
four:we can each receive Jesus in our lives,
i can pray; Lord Jesus forgive me,and be Lord over my life,i open the door of my heart to you.thanks you.
if you just said this prayer visit www.4stepstogod.com for more help or email me on complit@inbox.com

artist of the week 16th-22 april_dc talk

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:27:59 CDT

Dc Talk
The first gospel act to incorporate hip-hop influences (though the trio rarely departs from standard pop/rock), dc Talk became one of the most popular groups in Christian contemporary music during the mid-'90s, when their fourth album, Jesus Freak, made the highest debut for a gospel act on Billboard's album charts. Formed in Washington, D.C., during the late '80s, the group first comprised Toby McKeehan and Michael Tait. Adding Kevin Max Smith to the lineup soon after, the group added elements of hip-hop to their self-titled debut album, which appeared in 1988 on the ForeFront label. Neither McKeehan, Tait, nor Smith were comfortable playing instruments on their recordings, so each recorded only vocals by the time of 1991's Nu Thang. After the release of Free at Last just one year later, dc Talk concentrated on touring for several years, during which a change of image resulted in the group's resemblance to a grunge band. Indeed, 1995's Jesus Freak featured more raging guitars, though within the medium of harmonic pop/rock. Upon its release, Jesus Freak sold more copies than any gospel album in history and eventually moved over one million copies. Supernatural followed in 1998. ..
lyrics for consume me...a great song from DC TALK
[Oh, shah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah]
[Nah nah, nah, nah nah, nah]
[Shah dah dop dop dop dee dah]
[Nah nah, nah, nah nah, nah]

Lovely traces
I can sense You in everything
The way that You move me
Takes me far away
I seek no escape
I'm dreaming through Your eyes
I am wandering through Your mind
I'm overtaken by the way that You deliver me
I'm transcended
There's no place I'd rather be
Than here in Heaven
Without You I'm incomplete
It's hopeless

(chorus)
You consume me, You consume me
Like a burning flame running through my veins
You consume me moving through me
Anytime, anyplace You invade my space
You consume me, You consume me

continued below...

Wholly devoted
I immerse myself in You
Baptize me in Your love
Cause drowning in the thought of You
Floods my soul
I'm taken by the things You do
God, You know
It doesn't matter what I lose
I'm Yours

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)
I am in Your hands
Under Your command
Like a puppet on a string
[Lord you know]
I am willing to
Put my faith in You
So before the world I sing
[Consume me]

You consume me, You consume me
Burning flame, through my veins
You consume me moving through me
Anytime, anyplace You invade my space
You consume me [oh, you know that I surrender]
I am consumed, I'm consumed with You

There's no other way I can fly
It's You and I, You and I
There's no other way I can fly
It's You and I, You and I

why ascend?

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 23:37:03 CDT

so i asked myself
why did He have to go up?
didn't He fear being forgotten?
or isit that He feared He'd be killed again?
no
ofcourse not
it was so that He could come back everyday
as the homeless man
the hungry child
the hopeless mother
the thirsty traveller
the neglected aged man
and when the day of judgement comes
he'll ask
i was thirsty and you didn't give me anything to drink
We see Jesus everyday
but we rarely realize it
hope that now we will..
God bless

easter

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 23:34:29 CDT

this song by PETRA is a great way of describing the love
Jesus Christ has for all of us.
foward this page to all you care about this easter.

[ PETRA Lyrics ]
"If i had to die for someone"

John 15:13
Words and Music by Bob Hartman
I wear my seatbelt in the car I buckle up for safety
I run for cover from the storm
I wear a band aid on my knee I look both ways when crossing and I flee
Any danger I can see
And if I try each day to save my life in every way I can
How could I understand the way
You died for me
'Cause I don't know if I could even if I think I would
If I had to die for someone
If I had to die for someone else
How could I ever give my life to set the guilty free
When I cannot imagine
If I had to die for someone else like me
Someone else like me
I keep away from falling rocks and I don't play with matches
I lock the door I don't know why
It seems to me I'm much too old to wear a scarf out in the cold but
I want to live until I die
I guess I love my life a little more than I should love it
And if I had to I don't know if I could
Lay it down
And I am glad that You are not at all like me
'Cause You laid down Your life and did it willingly
It still amazes me to know
It's me that You were thinking of
No One else could have a greater love

choose one

complit — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 23:42:55 CDT

hi
today i asked myself
what can i live without
hope
dreams
success
wealth
family
faith
i pass this question to you
which one would you give up?

devotion

complit — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 23:41:15 CDT

Tanya’s fiancé David was lying in the intensive care unit after a delicate procedure to repair a brain aneurysm. David’s eyes focused on Tanya, who had hardly left his side in several days. In wonder, he said, “Every time I look up, you’re here. I love that. Every time I think of you, I open my eyes and you are there.”
That young man’s appreciation for the woman he loves reminds me of the way we should feel about God’s presence in our lives.
He is always there. The Lord’s presence gives us comfort and security. He has promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). Who knows us more completely? Who loves us more fully? Who cares for us so well?
In Psalm 139, we read what King David thought of God’s precious presence. He wrote, “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; . . . and are acquainted with all my ways. . . . If I ascend into heaven, You are there” (vv. 1-3,8).
No matter what happens to us, we have this assurance: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Ps. 46:1). Open your eyes and your heart. He is there. —Cindy Hess Kasper

When we are walking through the green pastures,
Or over mountains rugged and bare;
Precious the thought and sweet the assurance,
Jesus is always there. —B. Lillenas
© Renewal 1963 The Rodeheaver Co.

We can face any fear when we know the Lord is near.

happy

complit — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:07:32 CST

if everything went as we plan we would be so happy,
isn't it
if i wanted money.....i got money
if its a pie or something else thats sweet i'd get it
i always think this is true
but it isn't
coz somethings are sweet to us but are nasty to God
being happy in life and pleasing God at the same time....
is it possible?
its a sign of maturity in the christian walk when we strike this balance.

one week

complit — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 09:32:38 CST

today i thought,
WHAT IF I ONLY HAD ONE WEEK TO LIVE?
scarely thought,but i had in my mind so many things that i would do differently,
so many people that i would love,
many who i would forgive,
and a crowd that i would seek forgiveness from.
i would be the sweetest friend to all that week,
i would read the bible and spend less time on prison break,
i would be transformed.....
every day sholud be lived as if it were the last..
giving God glory and praise shouldn't wait for the last week
giving Jesus Christ my life should be done NOW,
coz for sure in this five past minutes 1000 people just died,
many of them without knowing Jesus.
what a sad thing.
God bless you.